Well. I'm going to give this blog thing a shot. For those of you unfamiliar with blogs, it's short for web logs. It's a place where I can babble on about pretty much anything. And believe me, I can babble. Mostly it'll be about things going on musically; how shows, recordings, bookings, etc. look like from my side of the microphone. I also might toss in a rant here or a review of a movie I like there. Just about anything. Soon I will figure out how to let you respond and chat about the things I write. For now, you can always email me at ileana@realitychickrecords.com.
Nevermind What I Said 11/16/06
Oh. How the mighty have fallen. Less than a week later and I am ready to hide under the covers. Literally, I did it last night. After three days at the Taxi Road Rally. I had two days sort of off. We had a band rehearsal on Sunday and a show on Monday night at the Cat Club. Then, I attended the Billboard Music Film & TV Conference. It was a cool experience and opportunity. There were some amazing Q&A panels with Oliver Stone, Melissa Etheridge, Olivia Newton John and Danny Elfman. There were also VPs and Presidents and Music Supervisors and tons of other industry related people who answered questions and lectured some. (By the way, there was a really cool, creepy movie they showed us clips of called Perfume. It's a film from Berlin so it might be hard to find when it comes out Dec 27th but it was cool! Amazing score, unbelievably amazing score and a creepy serial killer story. I'm looking forward to it.) Anyway. The most exciting part for me was when they let us meet with many of the music supervisors and ask them questions. Before it started I sat in the room with a bunch of other nervous songwriters, music composers and publishers. The energy in the room was toxic. Everyone excited, nervous, stressed, worried, needy. I wanted to run out of there. I was sick to my stomach. I'm a shy person anyway. It's really hard for me to talk to people. And it takes a long time before I speak in groups. I did not want to be in this room. But, it was the reason I was there so I had to stay. Eventually, I made small talk with some people. Some very nice like this girl Qiana. She was kind enough to point out some of the music publishers that I might do well with. (Her advice ended up being very helpful.) We wandered off from each other to continue meeting people. I made my first big bail. I hadn't done much research into who these people were. I thought that they'd be sitting at tables with their shows/films under their names. Nope. So I walked up to this woman who looked very nice (and she was.) However, I start asking her questions about what she's looking for. She places music in spanish speaking shows; Mexico and Brazil. Boy, do I look dumb. But I thought, perhaps she'd like Peter Torsiello's music. She shot me down again. Politely of course. She did not want to be talking with me so I said that it had been nice to meet her and moved on. Okay. Was that enough? Could I leave yet? No. And luckily, this wasn't the real thing yet. They asked us to sit down at the tables along with the supervisors. I sat at a table with a woman that Qiana has suggested. She was so so so nice. She answered all of my questions. She had great ideas. And she gave me permission to contact her. Things can move so slowly but at least I met someone nice. That was enough. So, I had courage and I moved on to speak with other supervisors. Every question was hard for me but I did it.
Then, I was fortunate enough to meet up with some other singer/songwriters! I'll probably end up adding them to my website but for now you can find many of them linked to my myspace/ileanaburdine page. I met 6 woman and a male songwriter. They were all so nice and we had lunch together. I, of course being my shy self, was pretty quiet. Seriously, when I am not on stage, I'm a wallflower. But they were so sweet that it didn't matter. Two of the girls tour throughout the US a lot every year. Another is working on her first solo cd. Another has placed a number of songs in tv shows. And another is also a comedian and she is really funny! It was so nice to meet this group. In some ways they inspired me; they were all so good and making such progress with their music. In other ways, it depressed me; I felt I was the oldest one there and I hadn't done nearly as much. After lunch, there was another roundtable of asking music/film related professionals any questions. Another round of pushing myself to meet people. After that, I was done. Tapped out. I hung out a little while longer but knew the end was near. There was a final party later that night and I didn't know if I could make it. I figured that I should regroup. Puppies should be good for that. So I came home and tried to snuggle dogs but it was no use. I had hit my limit. I put on sweats and snuggled under the covers. What am I doing? This is so hard? I'm crazy! Finally I got up. Got ready to go out. Ate some chocolate chip cookies and stepped out the door. I made it to the afterparty and met up with that same group of girls along with some other new friends. It ended up being a very fun night and I was so glad that I went.
I was glad that I went to all of it but it did take a toll. Well, it's weird. I've made contacts, learned about a ton of new ways to get my music out to people, met some great friends. All of those things are good things. And, I think I have recovered. Okay, one more nap, maybe but still. I go from 'I can do this' to 'where do I start' to 'I can't do it all' to why bother'. And then back again. So, writing this is the first step, I decided. Go through all my notes and flyers and magazines that I got at the conferences and process it all. Process all of it. Figure out what will work for me and what won't. Narrow down the list and then start sending stuff out. But sorting through all of the info and putting it in boxes in my brain is a good start. And THAT is why this entry is so long. I'm so sorry about that.
Wow! How inspiring! I just spent 3 days at the Taxi Road Rally & it was pretty amazing. Taxi is a service that you join that helps to funnel your music to A&R people, music supervisors on TV programs and film and music publishers. Once a year they host a free Rally for all of it's members where they present different lectures by people in the industry & opportunities to meet lots of great songwriters. This was my first time at this event but I have been to similar ones int he past. It's funny. I used to go to these things and leave depressed. It's not just about making music. There are contracts & labels & liscensing & it's easier to be struck by lightening than to become a pop star & labels put you in debt forever and on and on. And then you ask the mentors for feedback on songs and they tear you up! So I would leave, crying. No joke. Moses Avalon was not at this event but I've seen him at others. He said once that after he explains all of the nuts & bolts & how difficult everything is and you STILL feel like you are meant to do this, then it's a good thing. Because then you really are meant to. Really, who in their right mind would choose this craziness?! Well. I have turned a corner. In my writing, performing and outlook. Everyday of this Rally I've been inspired. No, nobody signed me to a record deal, it's still going to be hard. But I don't mind anymore. I'm inspired by the possiblities that are out there. I'm excited by what I can do. I'm empowered by the knowledge I've already accumulated. And I can't wait to go home and write a new song! About what, I don't know. I just can't wait to do it.
Okay. I just gave notice at my work today. I was a nerd and a wreck all at once. I cried like a little girl and I still feel sick to my stomach. I'm not really sure why. This is what I want, right? I've wailed and moaned for months that, no years now, that I need more time and that I need to be working on music. And now, I feel like I'm going to throw up. Telling my boss I cried. I don't know why. There have been days when I wanted to storm out with a 'oh yeah? I quit' and now I'm crying. Maybe some of it was the stress of just telling them. What did I think they were going to do, tell me that I couldn't quit? Yeah, somewhere inside I probably thought that a little. Part of me even now worries that they think I'm foolish for doing this. 'Quit to work on music? Yeah, we'll see how long that lasts.' Part of me feels silly for doing it. Just in trying to get to this point, I went back and forth. Is it worth it for me to quit? What if nothing happens? What if I spend all of my savings and in just a couple of months I'm back behind a desk again. Was it worth it? Is what I'm doing or trying to do worth it. Lots of people have jobs that aren't their dreams and they do them every day. They are happy in the knowledge that their job, their sacrifice makes it possible for them to take care of their families. Why should I dare to be different? What if I waste countless hours watching Oprah and Dr. Phil and never write another song? Or worse yet, only write bad songs? You can see how someone who finds it within themselves to write a song called 'Unworthy' could wonder if it's okay to do this. I guess that I already decided that it is worth it if I quit. I'm not quite excited yet. Every once in awhile, I've lost the sick feeling and felt just a little bit excited. And then I start to get teary-eyed again. What does that mean? Am I crying because I'm happy? Or scared? Or just overwhelmed? Maybe it's that one. Maybe I'm just overwhelmed by the possibilities. Seriously, anything could happen. Or maybe it's like what Marianne Williamson wrote in "Our Deepest Fear". "Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us." Maybe I'll go with that. At least that would be a positive way of looking at it.
Hello there! I'm writing from the studio and we are recording right now! Okay, I'm not recording anything but my thoughts (hehe) but Peter is laying down a cool drum track as we speak. I'm providing moral support. :) It's sounding SO GOOD! We've tracked the basics for 10 songs already! Of course, we have a long way to go still but the songs are filling out and taking on their own identities. It's so amazing how it all comes together. And Peter is pretty incredible! I didn't think my songs could sound this good! We discuss ideas and where the song needs to go and Peter takes it there. He's such a talented musician and producer. I'm so blessed to be working with him. And his family is letting me stay with them here in Phoenix. I'ven never eaten so much delicious food. His wife cooks everything from scratch and it's sooo good. MMMMmmmm. I might not leave except that I miss my sweetie and my pugs. But you can't make an album with pugs in the room. You'll get them snoring on the tracks.
I can not believe how blessed I am to be working with such incredible musicians! Tim and Cheryl both agreed to drive out to Phoenix (to Peter's studio) and record some tracks on my CD! It's cool enough just that they want to play with me at shows in LA. It's even more cool that they're willing to drive out to Phoenix to play on the CD. It's insanely cool that they rock and sound awesome on the recordings! Just amazing. In just one day, yes one day, the three of them knocked out tracks for 5 songs. And it's really good! It's like magic how they bring the songs to life. If this is just the beginning, I can't wait for the rest of this CD!